....or at least is song is. I've been listening to a cover of "In Your Eyes" the past few days and yesterday I took them literally. I was feeling awfully claustrophobic and so I listened to wise Peter and got in my car. While in said car, I listened to the song and felt this odd feeling that I had been spoken to by his words. I also realized that I'm terrible at running away, I just ended up going to Sac.
love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade,
so soon will burn
without a noise,
without my pride
I reach out from the inside
in your eyes the light the heat
in your eyes I am complete
in your eyes I see the doorway
to a thousand churches
in your eyes the resolution
of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes I see the light
and the heat in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light the heat
I see in your eyes love,
I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted
and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working
so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you
to keep me awake and alive
and all my instincts,
they return and the grand facade,
so soon will burn without a noise,
without my pride
I reach out from the inside
in your eyes the light the heat
in your eyes I am complete
in your eyes I see the doorway
to a thousand churches
in your eyes the resolution
of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes I see the light
and the heat in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes in your eyes
Monday, December 29, 2008
Early Resolutions
I have been thinking about New Years resolutions for awhile now, probably over a month. I have about three and I really want to get serious about them. In a few months I will be 24 and I don't think I can justify putting off personal responsibility any longer.
The first goal that my sister and I have resolute-d is to get healthier. She is much closer to this goal than I am...much. But I will work my ass off to catch up to her. This is probably 95% of everyone's New Years Resolution so forgive my unoriginality. We decided to start today and get a head start into the New Year. I'm definitely thankful that I'm not trying to do this alone, it helps to have a partner.
We woke up around 7:30 and did 30-minutes of (not beginner) yoga and then a 30-minute walk around my neighborhood to a park that's practically across the street. Although I feel a bit exerted...or a lot exerted...I also feel really pleased that I did what I said I'd do.
Yes I know it was one day of activity but I would rather look at it as 1 less day of inactivity and that is progress, however slow. I'm definitely learning to accept that I'm a work in progress which is a hard lesson to accept.
The first goal that my sister and I have resolute-d is to get healthier. She is much closer to this goal than I am...much. But I will work my ass off to catch up to her. This is probably 95% of everyone's New Years Resolution so forgive my unoriginality. We decided to start today and get a head start into the New Year. I'm definitely thankful that I'm not trying to do this alone, it helps to have a partner.
We woke up around 7:30 and did 30-minutes of (not beginner) yoga and then a 30-minute walk around my neighborhood to a park that's practically across the street. Although I feel a bit exerted...or a lot exerted...I also feel really pleased that I did what I said I'd do.
Yes I know it was one day of activity but I would rather look at it as 1 less day of inactivity and that is progress, however slow. I'm definitely learning to accept that I'm a work in progress which is a hard lesson to accept.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Passing Time
I haven't done one productive thing today. Not one. But I did have a 2 hour lunch and I'm now blogging. And after all this, how is it that I'm absolutely exhausted?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
So Cold...Can't Go On
The heater is broken all over campus today so I am being forced to work in ridiculously cold conditions. I can't feel my fingers.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Two Can Keep a Secret If One of Them is Dead
I got exciting news and I've been put under lock and key for about a week now. All I can say that it sucks. I am awful at keeping exciting news to myself and I've wanted to tell people, really I have. I can't wait until I can discuss it freely, until then I will keep my mouth shut.
Gravity
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
[CHORUS]
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
[CHORUS]
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
Thursday, December 11, 2008
My Christmas Buys
I have just begun getting Christmas gifts for friends. I love giving presents to other people, seriously I do. I get a lot of joy from finding something that they'll love and seeing a happy reaction to something I carefully chose for them is very rewarding.
However, I also love giving myself stuff. I have already bought myself 2 eye shadows & eye shadow brush set from MAC & a smudge pot in black from Sephora totaling over $100. I have pretty much spent almost as much (if not more) on myself as on my friends. I'm worried how this will end up. I hope for all of your's sake that I buy your gifts before I run out of money buying stuff for myself. No promises!
However, I also love giving myself stuff. I have already bought myself 2 eye shadows & eye shadow brush set from MAC & a smudge pot in black from Sephora totaling over $100. I have pretty much spent almost as much (if not more) on myself as on my friends. I'm worried how this will end up. I hope for all of your's sake that I buy your gifts before I run out of money buying stuff for myself. No promises!
Oh If You Seek Amy
I did a handwriting analysis for funsies and I am shocked...SHOCKED...at how accurate it is. So here for your reading pleasure are my results. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post such dangerous information but decided maybe it can be some excellent insight for you about myself. Enjoy!
Welcome Micaela Smith, here is your handwriting analysis.
Micaela is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes.
Micaela will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Micaela an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other.
When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Micaela is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.
Micaela is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Micaela doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
When Micaela expresses an opinion on a issue she will stick to that opinion, and probably will not change her mind. In other words... Micaela is stubborn. When she is wrong about something that she has decided upon, she will have trouble admitting she is wrong. Changing Micaela's mind can be very difficult. Once Micaela makes up her mind, she doesn't want to be confused with the facts!
Micaela is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.
According to the inputted data, Micaela has a stinger shape inside the oval of her a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then Micaela has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Mom or Dad). If the writer is a woman she will be attracted to strong challenging men. If the writer is a man, he will find the woman who is "hard to get" the most attractive. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships.
Micaela has an over-awareness of self. She often feels self-conscious. She fears ridicule, therefore she is careful not to place herself in a position to receive any ridicule. She wonders what people will think if she acts in a certain manner. When encountering a new group of people, Micaela may stay on the sidelines until she has the people categorized, or she may behave in a "positive attention getting" manner to assure people think good thoughts about her from the start.
In the sales profession, this self-consciousness is called "call reluctance". They take the word "no" as a personal criticism. Therefore, there is an internal struggle when performing this type of work. Although this person may be a great salesperson, she still feels insecurity. She will perform better if someone else is with her because the fear of ridicule from her peers is far greater than the fear of ridicule from her clients. Many times this type of person becomes a sales trainer, because when she is training, she doesn't have to put herself in a position of being told "no" as often as the salesmen do.
In reference to Micaela's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Micaela slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Micaela can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Micaela is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Micaela basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
Micaela is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
Micaela has a tendency to put things off, Micaela procrastinates. She sometimes pretends to be busy, so she will not have to do whatever she is putting off. She is often late to appointments or deadlines. This usually leads to a great amount of effort at the last minute to meet the deadline. Procrastination is an important factor as it relates to her output on the job or at school. Remember, Micaela will put it off until later. Procrastination is easily overcome through a simple stroke adjustment in the handwriting.
Micaela has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Welcome Micaela Smith, here is your handwriting analysis.
Micaela is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes.
Micaela will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Micaela an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other.
When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Micaela is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.
Micaela is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Micaela doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
When Micaela expresses an opinion on a issue she will stick to that opinion, and probably will not change her mind. In other words... Micaela is stubborn. When she is wrong about something that she has decided upon, she will have trouble admitting she is wrong. Changing Micaela's mind can be very difficult. Once Micaela makes up her mind, she doesn't want to be confused with the facts!
Micaela is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.
According to the inputted data, Micaela has a stinger shape inside the oval of her a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then Micaela has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Mom or Dad). If the writer is a woman she will be attracted to strong challenging men. If the writer is a man, he will find the woman who is "hard to get" the most attractive. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships.
Micaela has an over-awareness of self. She often feels self-conscious. She fears ridicule, therefore she is careful not to place herself in a position to receive any ridicule. She wonders what people will think if she acts in a certain manner. When encountering a new group of people, Micaela may stay on the sidelines until she has the people categorized, or she may behave in a "positive attention getting" manner to assure people think good thoughts about her from the start.
In the sales profession, this self-consciousness is called "call reluctance". They take the word "no" as a personal criticism. Therefore, there is an internal struggle when performing this type of work. Although this person may be a great salesperson, she still feels insecurity. She will perform better if someone else is with her because the fear of ridicule from her peers is far greater than the fear of ridicule from her clients. Many times this type of person becomes a sales trainer, because when she is training, she doesn't have to put herself in a position of being told "no" as often as the salesmen do.
In reference to Micaela's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Micaela slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Micaela can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Micaela is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Micaela basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
Micaela is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
Micaela has a tendency to put things off, Micaela procrastinates. She sometimes pretends to be busy, so she will not have to do whatever she is putting off. She is often late to appointments or deadlines. This usually leads to a great amount of effort at the last minute to meet the deadline. Procrastination is an important factor as it relates to her output on the job or at school. Remember, Micaela will put it off until later. Procrastination is easily overcome through a simple stroke adjustment in the handwriting.
Micaela has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
MAC Addict
I just placed a $100 order on Mac for myself and I should be ashamed! It's Christmas and I'm being selfish but I just couldn't help myself! I want this brush set and I know no one will be buying it for me so I bought it myself. I'd feel more guilty if my giddiness wasn't so overwhelming.
Shaken & Stirred
There are two sets of doors to get into my office with a small space between them that I can see from my desk. Often people will be looking for the Admissions office and walk in here for some direction. And sometimes people will peer into my office and see it's a computer lab set up and realize they are in the wrong place without bothering/interrupting/inconveniencing...err asking me where they should be. This is such a common occurrence that I don't think much of it.
However, I am almost convinced my ex just peered into my office and was one of the ones that didn't feel the need to ask where the Admissions office or wherever may be. Now I can't be sure...it happened so fast I could be mistaken. And I haven't seen him in over a year (!) so maybe he just looked similar? I'm thankful I have a large computer screen I can hide behind...and hide I did! I'm just a bit shaken up from it, I never thought I'd see him again.
However, I am almost convinced my ex just peered into my office and was one of the ones that didn't feel the need to ask where the Admissions office or wherever may be. Now I can't be sure...it happened so fast I could be mistaken. And I haven't seen him in over a year (!) so maybe he just looked similar? I'm thankful I have a large computer screen I can hide behind...and hide I did! I'm just a bit shaken up from it, I never thought I'd see him again.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A Mad & Faithful Telling
So I got tix to see Devotchka in Reno for January 29th yesterday and was very excited. They're interesting and I think they'll be amazing live. It's for a Thursday night but my work is so flexible I didn't even think to get the days off before buying the tix. And when given the option of getting ticket insurance for a meager $6 more I skipped it because I didn't think it would be necessary.
Then I get to work this morning and boss tells me to start working on an event for January 30th! I had planned on asking for that day off so that we could stay the night and gamble a bit. And I'd need to leave early on the 29th to get there in time for the show but now I won't be able to. I'll need to be getting things ready the 29th and I'll have to be here for the 30th. I'm really disappointed but I feel as this is a lesson in patience for me. Oh well, can't do much about it now.
Monday, December 8, 2008
I feel like I did so much this weekend it's no wonder I'm still tired. Friday I spent in Sacramento of course. Highlight...a creepy crow and the man who killed (maybe? allegedly?) the pear girl.
Saturday morning I couldn't resist heading over to Beers and seeing what books they have. Do I need a book to read? No, no I don't. I have way more than anyone can read at a time. But did I buy a book, oh yes...yes I did. I'm currently reading The Watchmen and as soon as I've finished I don't know what I want to read next. But at least I have choices. I love reading and it's not like I buy them and never read them. It's just an investment in future entertainment. As further proof of my reading addiction here is my nightstand.
Saturday morning I couldn't resist heading over to Beers and seeing what books they have. Do I need a book to read? No, no I don't. I have way more than anyone can read at a time. But did I buy a book, oh yes...yes I did. I'm currently reading The Watchmen and as soon as I've finished I don't know what I want to read next. But at least I have choices. I love reading and it's not like I buy them and never read them. It's just an investment in future entertainment. As further proof of my reading addiction here is my nightstand.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Festival of Trees
Megan, her mom (my godmother) Heidi, and I went to the Festival of Trees in Lodi today! I felt a bit as if I had walked into an episode of Gilmore Girls but I had a lot of fun. It was ridiculous cold though. We tried some Russian tea, which is basically warm Tang and way too sweet and walked around and saw everything and did some shopping.
I'm a sucker for homemade soap and I got a few that smell amazing. There was also this button enthusiast who actually has a button lovers club and makes jewelery out of buttons. She went on and on about buttons and I politely listened. I ended up getting this button from the 1920's that was made into a ring. I'm a sucker for the style of that period and the ring is very unique.
We also made our own dip candles which was fun! I worked really hard at dipping it so that it was perfect but when the lady mounted my candle (that's what she said) onto the wood she kind effed it up. Oh well. We then decorated it with pine cones, fake berries, etc. with surprisingly strong Elmer's glue. I like how mine turned out, even if it's a bit crooked.
I'm a sucker for homemade soap and I got a few that smell amazing. There was also this button enthusiast who actually has a button lovers club and makes jewelery out of buttons. She went on and on about buttons and I politely listened. I ended up getting this button from the 1920's that was made into a ring. I'm a sucker for the style of that period and the ring is very unique.
We also made our own dip candles which was fun! I worked really hard at dipping it so that it was perfect but when the lady mounted my candle (that's what she said) onto the wood she kind effed it up. Oh well. We then decorated it with pine cones, fake berries, etc. with surprisingly strong Elmer's glue. I like how mine turned out, even if it's a bit crooked.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Gingerbread Architecture
Today I was supposed to go to a hockey game but it didn't work out so Megan came over and we went out. During dinner we decided it would be fun to watch Elf and make a gingerbread house.
So we headed over to Cost Plus and let me tell you, I love that store. I think we spent close to an hour wandering around in there. But we found lots of things we would want for Christmas and I found the perfect reading chair. I've wanted a reading chair for my room for probably two years now. I like reading in my room but reading in bed messes up my sleep patterns and doesn't help my insomnia. I'm thinking if I had a comfy chair to read in that would be great. It's only $300! Ya, I don't think I'll be getting it this Christmas but whatever.
So we got back to my house and watched Elf (I forgot how much I like this movie) and constructed a cute gingerbread house. And what it lacks in finesse we made up for with love! However, I ended up with frosting everywhere...on my arms, on my phone and on my forehead. Really not sure how that happened.
But look how great it turned out! It's too cute to eat so it will be the start of my Christmas decorations. I can't wait to get a tree!
So we headed over to Cost Plus and let me tell you, I love that store. I think we spent close to an hour wandering around in there. But we found lots of things we would want for Christmas and I found the perfect reading chair. I've wanted a reading chair for my room for probably two years now. I like reading in my room but reading in bed messes up my sleep patterns and doesn't help my insomnia. I'm thinking if I had a comfy chair to read in that would be great. It's only $300! Ya, I don't think I'll be getting it this Christmas but whatever.
So we got back to my house and watched Elf (I forgot how much I like this movie) and constructed a cute gingerbread house. And what it lacks in finesse we made up for with love! However, I ended up with frosting everywhere...on my arms, on my phone and on my forehead. Really not sure how that happened.
But look how great it turned out! It's too cute to eat so it will be the start of my Christmas decorations. I can't wait to get a tree!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Daydreamer
You know what I love about this time of year? I love how it's cold and I get to wear heavy jackets, scarves, knit hats, gloves...the possibilities are endless. I love that it rains and the air gets thick with fog. I love hot chocolate with marshmallows and driving up to the snow. I love Christmas music and Christmas socks. I love getting to spend time with my friends and family and I REALLY love that I'll have two weeks off this year. I definitely love working at a school. I haven't had a proper Christmas vacation since graduating from high school five years ago.
I look forward to making memories on some adventures soon. I rather not plan too hard but I want to go to the snow, Disneyland, LA, San Francisco and lots of time in Sacramento. It will be great.
However, I do not like the crowds of people driving their cars around me or the ridiculous amount of people in stores these days with pissy attitudes. I went to Best Buy yesterday to get Britney's CD (go get it...now. No seriously.) and I didn't even think about the fact that there would be a longer line then say a week ago. It took me over 20 minutes to wait to pay for my one item, but I tried to be positive. Although I did whine a bit, at least I'm trying to keep positive. It's the season for giving not grinching! I know that if someone was buying me a gift (and I will not stop you if that is something you'd like to do!) I know that I would want the experience while obtaining said gift to be good. I don't want a bad-karma gift. So please do your part and enjoy shopping. Giving shouldn't be an obligation...ever.
I look forward to making memories on some adventures soon. I rather not plan too hard but I want to go to the snow, Disneyland, LA, San Francisco and lots of time in Sacramento. It will be great.
However, I do not like the crowds of people driving their cars around me or the ridiculous amount of people in stores these days with pissy attitudes. I went to Best Buy yesterday to get Britney's CD (go get it...now. No seriously.) and I didn't even think about the fact that there would be a longer line then say a week ago. It took me over 20 minutes to wait to pay for my one item, but I tried to be positive. Although I did whine a bit, at least I'm trying to keep positive. It's the season for giving not grinching! I know that if someone was buying me a gift (and I will not stop you if that is something you'd like to do!) I know that I would want the experience while obtaining said gift to be good. I don't want a bad-karma gift. So please do your part and enjoy shopping. Giving shouldn't be an obligation...ever.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Devil Town
The end of the second ep of Friday Night Lights features a song by Tony Lucca...I literally stopped breathing for a second when the song started. I'm aware that's crazy.
Just Like a Circus
I'm previewing Britney's new album, Circus, before it's released December 2nd. I'm probably way more excited about this than a 23 year-old woman should be. Whatever, love her and it's great so far!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Sunday Pedi Sunday
I am writing this while getting a pedicure. I can't think of anything better than having someone make my toes and feet pretty for me so I am free to do important things like this on my phone.
As a side note, driving in dense fog is horrible. It was so bad last night I broke at one point because the mass of white in front of me looked solid. I would liken it to Lost's black smoke monster's white cousin.
Oh and if anyone saw today's breast with larvae on Post Secret this morning are you as disturbed as I am?
As a side note, driving in dense fog is horrible. It was so bad last night I broke at one point because the mass of white in front of me looked solid. I would liken it to Lost's black smoke monster's white cousin.
Oh and if anyone saw today's breast with larvae on Post Secret this morning are you as disturbed as I am?
Friday, November 21, 2008
What I Want vs. What I Need
So Christmas is coming (!) and although there isn't much I actually need, of course there is an array of things I want. So if you are curious to know (and why wouldn't you be), I have compiled a list of my wants...so far. Expect an addendum.
First up...
This tote bag. It is beyond adorable and I can't stop thinking about it. It is from modcloth.com and retails for $58.
Second...
It's a makeup palette from sephora.com and retails for $48 but is a $320 value. Omg you guys, that is amazing! I dream of all the fun times I can have with this in my life.
Third...
An iPod nano in super cute hot pink. What could be cuter?? it's from applestore.com for $149.
Fourth...
Rachael Yamagata's new CD. It's like $13.99 at any CD store. Great deal guys.
So that's it for now. This is definitely not all inclusive, just what I've got so far!
First up...
This tote bag. It is beyond adorable and I can't stop thinking about it. It is from modcloth.com and retails for $58.
Second...
It's a makeup palette from sephora.com and retails for $48 but is a $320 value. Omg you guys, that is amazing! I dream of all the fun times I can have with this in my life.
Third...
An iPod nano in super cute hot pink. What could be cuter?? it's from applestore.com for $149.
Fourth...
Rachael Yamagata's new CD. It's like $13.99 at any CD store. Great deal guys.
So that's it for now. This is definitely not all inclusive, just what I've got so far!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
This plan of mine is oh so very lame...can't you see the grass is greener where it rains?
I have way too much free time and yet I feel like I don't get anything accomplished. Too much time to think and over think things. I like to fill this time with mindless entertainment and brief day dreams of all the places I want to visit. I'm feeling claustrophobic and I need to break out and have some adventures. If not now, when??
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Domestic Dreaming
I've been feeling ridiculously domestic lately and I've been wanting to bake. Like fancy fancy stuff. I've been wanting to do specialty cookies, bars and candies for gifts for Christmas for a few years but I think I'm actually going to do it this year. I need to start practicing though so let me know if you want to be a taste tester for me!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Sunday Morning Thoughts
"Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now"
Just when I thought I knew how things work it changes. Expectations are overrated.
Seeing past what you see.
You think you know me but you don't.
It is below the surface where I come alive.
It's time to dig deeper.
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now"
Just when I thought I knew how things work it changes. Expectations are overrated.
Seeing past what you see.
You think you know me but you don't.
It is below the surface where I come alive.
It's time to dig deeper.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Ela from Concentrate
I cannot concentrate on shit lately. I have too many thoughts and I cannot sort them out. It's driving me insane. I am supposed to have twenty fucking pages written on a script by tomorrow and I haven't even finished the concept and I have no idea what I'm going to do. But I keep procrastinating. Hate this, I just want to clear my mind.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Hey You
Have you ever met someone and realized later that you met them at the wrong time in your life? That things could be different if you had met them earlier/later/whatever. I feel like I've met someone too late. He's already in a relationship but I can't stop myself from feeling smitten. It may be the most un-gratifying feeling.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Election
This election has been quite emotional for me. I am filled with such pride for my country today, something I definitely haven't felt in the last 8 years. To see Obama win with such an overwhelming amount, inspiring my generation to get out there and vote and winning even the majority of the popular vote. I have nothing but respect and admiration for him. I welled up watching him speak last night. I'm excited for the next four years with him as my President and I'm filled with hope for the future.
I know this means positive things for the country in terms of energy, health care, the economy and diplomacy. Seeing the photos of countries around the world celebrating last night made me truly believe that our country can return to the policies and practices that have made us an ally to the world and a respected nation. I look forward to the end of preemptive attacks for false reasons, to the end of an administration using fear tactics to scare me into giving up freedoms or rights of myself or others.
Speaking of which, it's disheartening that Proposition 8 has passed. I suppose I was naive to think that hate and discrimination is reserved for 'red states' or a generation that is not my own. But hate is taught and bred and exists everywhere still. I hope to look back on Prop 8 years from now as a stepping stone to equal rights for all; but until then I only see it as a reminder of how far we have yet to go.
Love is love and there's no way someone can put fear into my heart to feel otherwise. Here's to the future...I am hopeful for the changes that we can create. Yes we could, yes we did.
I know this means positive things for the country in terms of energy, health care, the economy and diplomacy. Seeing the photos of countries around the world celebrating last night made me truly believe that our country can return to the policies and practices that have made us an ally to the world and a respected nation. I look forward to the end of preemptive attacks for false reasons, to the end of an administration using fear tactics to scare me into giving up freedoms or rights of myself or others.
Speaking of which, it's disheartening that Proposition 8 has passed. I suppose I was naive to think that hate and discrimination is reserved for 'red states' or a generation that is not my own. But hate is taught and bred and exists everywhere still. I hope to look back on Prop 8 years from now as a stepping stone to equal rights for all; but until then I only see it as a reminder of how far we have yet to go.
Love is love and there's no way someone can put fear into my heart to feel otherwise. Here's to the future...I am hopeful for the changes that we can create. Yes we could, yes we did.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Letters from Micaela-Halloween Edition
Dear girls who think ‘slutty’ qualifies as a Halloween costume,
Yes, Halloween lets you be as openly slutty as you want and you can just pass it off as your ‘costume’. Slutty nurse, slutty flight attendant, slutty cop, etc. But let’s be honest here girls. Those of you whom are dressed as slutty versions of otherwise wholesome occupations aren’t really stretching the imagination now are you? I get it; you want guys to become instantly aroused by the sight of your partially dressed bodies. But come on ladies, there are less trashy ways of letting guys know you are easy. And with guys it’s not that difficult to get that point across. So maybe you can work on subtlety or more creative costume ideas next year.
Dear undecided voter,
Seriously? Undecided…seriously? How is this possible with the election just a few days away? Obama and McCain couldn’t be more different from each other. And if you can’t see that, maybe it’s better if you just stay home this time.
p.s.
Hey Joe (or should I say Samuel?) the ‘plumber’,
I hear you want to write a book and maybe go into politics. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that you may write a book or that people may actually buy it. Yes you’ve had a great ride as a campaign prop for the Repubs but you didn’t even show up at McCain’s rally yesterday. You don’t seem to be doing a lot of plumbing these days, how do you ever expect to make over $250,000 plumbing this way?
Dear Britney Spears,
You’re doing a great job, keep up the progress!
Dear MAC Cosmetic girls who answer the phone,
Stop being bitches. Seriously. I pay way too much for your merchandise, the last thing I need is your lip. Benefit is right next to you and they are much friendlier. I’m just saying.
Dear Saturday Night Live,
I’m crushed that Amy Poehler is not returning to SNL, she was always hilarious and great on Weekend Update. Yes Seth Meyers can handle it on his own but hopefully they’ll give him another co-anchor soon. But here’s the deal, you’re now down to only two women on the show. I know it’s always been a fucked up ratio of men to women on SNL but it’s now 8-2. Come on! With Tina Fey, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Molly Shannon and Amy’s sitcom to start early next year, it’s clear that the women of SNL are dominating comedies on TV these days. Why not get moving on finding some more? There needs to be some balance.
p.s.
Please start being funnier more often. After Tuesday there won’t be any need for Tina to come back and do Palin and then what will you have?
p.p.s.
Andy Samberg you’re on notice. Start making better digital shorts. I understand not everything can be a ‘Dick in a Box’ or ‘Lazy Sunday’ but stop phoning some of these in.
p.p.p.s.
Have Britney host when her CD comes out. Even the naysayers have to admit her two times hosting were hilarious. All that MMC breeding did well for her and she’s the come back of the year. Don’t be dicks.
Yes, Halloween lets you be as openly slutty as you want and you can just pass it off as your ‘costume’. Slutty nurse, slutty flight attendant, slutty cop, etc. But let’s be honest here girls. Those of you whom are dressed as slutty versions of otherwise wholesome occupations aren’t really stretching the imagination now are you? I get it; you want guys to become instantly aroused by the sight of your partially dressed bodies. But come on ladies, there are less trashy ways of letting guys know you are easy. And with guys it’s not that difficult to get that point across. So maybe you can work on subtlety or more creative costume ideas next year.
Dear undecided voter,
Seriously? Undecided…seriously? How is this possible with the election just a few days away? Obama and McCain couldn’t be more different from each other. And if you can’t see that, maybe it’s better if you just stay home this time.
p.s.
Hey Joe (or should I say Samuel?) the ‘plumber’,
I hear you want to write a book and maybe go into politics. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that you may write a book or that people may actually buy it. Yes you’ve had a great ride as a campaign prop for the Repubs but you didn’t even show up at McCain’s rally yesterday. You don’t seem to be doing a lot of plumbing these days, how do you ever expect to make over $250,000 plumbing this way?
Dear Britney Spears,
You’re doing a great job, keep up the progress!
Dear MAC Cosmetic girls who answer the phone,
Stop being bitches. Seriously. I pay way too much for your merchandise, the last thing I need is your lip. Benefit is right next to you and they are much friendlier. I’m just saying.
Dear Saturday Night Live,
I’m crushed that Amy Poehler is not returning to SNL, she was always hilarious and great on Weekend Update. Yes Seth Meyers can handle it on his own but hopefully they’ll give him another co-anchor soon. But here’s the deal, you’re now down to only two women on the show. I know it’s always been a fucked up ratio of men to women on SNL but it’s now 8-2. Come on! With Tina Fey, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Molly Shannon and Amy’s sitcom to start early next year, it’s clear that the women of SNL are dominating comedies on TV these days. Why not get moving on finding some more? There needs to be some balance.
p.s.
Please start being funnier more often. After Tuesday there won’t be any need for Tina to come back and do Palin and then what will you have?
p.p.s.
Andy Samberg you’re on notice. Start making better digital shorts. I understand not everything can be a ‘Dick in a Box’ or ‘Lazy Sunday’ but stop phoning some of these in.
p.p.p.s.
Have Britney host when her CD comes out. Even the naysayers have to admit her two times hosting were hilarious. All that MMC breeding did well for her and she’s the come back of the year. Don’t be dicks.
Monday, October 27, 2008
I Will Follow You Into the Dark
of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangcock to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangcock to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
"If I knew all the words I would write myself out of here
If I was all the colors I would paint you pretty in gold in a picture"
I'm starting to feel like life is about luck. It's not fair or reasonable. There is a myriad of events that connect in the most absurd way. I feel more lost and chaotic when I try and figure why things happen. So is denial better? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of worrying about my family and friends. Not because it's burdensome but because I feel like they don't deserve it, this bad luck of theirs. I wish I could love enough, be strong enough, be practical enough, successful enough, selfless enough for both of us. But I can merely be here to listen and give you what I have though it may not be enough or even much it all.
If I was all the colors I would paint you pretty in gold in a picture"
I'm starting to feel like life is about luck. It's not fair or reasonable. There is a myriad of events that connect in the most absurd way. I feel more lost and chaotic when I try and figure why things happen. So is denial better? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of worrying about my family and friends. Not because it's burdensome but because I feel like they don't deserve it, this bad luck of theirs. I wish I could love enough, be strong enough, be practical enough, successful enough, selfless enough for both of us. But I can merely be here to listen and give you what I have though it may not be enough or even much it all.
0% Interest
Our friends on the front porch, well they're telling jokes and they swing swiftly towards happier times
Expending lines and finding more energy for the effort and getting distance from that front porch spotlight
But us we found peace in shadows, long enough to see the monsters rise
Candy's got some space to fill in her daydream living high on yesterday's lies
Talking to me about some 0% interest and, how she got a better deal than the next guy
And the way the lightning shocked us when we were lost and we were looking
Down that long Missouri highway your hair was longer then and now I can remember
Say now I remember oh so well
Oh the roads unencumbered by cats they're burning like wet matches through my miracle mile mind
You left your thumb print inside me now for months it seems but mine only brushes your soft surface
And somehow
Somehow it leaves me listless, my tongue curls under my lips oh oh yes
So I can't speak to tell you of the months before I met you
And the way, oh the truth it locked us
Oh right about the time after the lightning shocked us
When we were young, when we were young and missing
Round that small New England byway our lives they were sheltered then and now I can remember
Say now well I remember oh so well, almost too well
Well its not even being about that anymore I gotta get you down
Those tiny fragments of perfection they please me in a time
Unchanged when its not the same beginning or along awaited end...
If I knew all the words I would write myself out of here
If I was all the colors I would paint you pretty in gold in a picture, so I'm told little sister
So now I'm sold little sister
Why don't you tell me about the sunsets in Sweden and the laws of Eden
And how you were the rock of Gibraltar, and how they called you foxy
Well that's another whole box of pandora's, that's another whole box of them ties
Slide your foot off the gas before we crash right back into the median
Right back into the median, the median lo-oh
It separates, our house from the middle of the street...
It separates our house from the middle of the street
Talking about our house
Is on the front porch telling jokes and they swing swiftly towards happier times
Expending lines and finding more energy for the effort and getting distance from that front porch
Spotlight
But us we found peace in shadows long enough to see a monster die.
We all need to find a little space in our daydreams long enough and just so long.
Long enough, just as long, just so long as its long enough is it long enough?
Is it long enough for me? Long enough for me to chew on.
If it isn't... if it isn't .. if it ain't if it don't if it can't then it wont.
And that's just the way that it goes.
Expending lines and finding more energy for the effort and getting distance from that front porch spotlight
But us we found peace in shadows, long enough to see the monsters rise
Candy's got some space to fill in her daydream living high on yesterday's lies
Talking to me about some 0% interest and, how she got a better deal than the next guy
And the way the lightning shocked us when we were lost and we were looking
Down that long Missouri highway your hair was longer then and now I can remember
Say now I remember oh so well
Oh the roads unencumbered by cats they're burning like wet matches through my miracle mile mind
You left your thumb print inside me now for months it seems but mine only brushes your soft surface
And somehow
Somehow it leaves me listless, my tongue curls under my lips oh oh yes
So I can't speak to tell you of the months before I met you
And the way, oh the truth it locked us
Oh right about the time after the lightning shocked us
When we were young, when we were young and missing
Round that small New England byway our lives they were sheltered then and now I can remember
Say now well I remember oh so well, almost too well
Well its not even being about that anymore I gotta get you down
Those tiny fragments of perfection they please me in a time
Unchanged when its not the same beginning or along awaited end...
If I knew all the words I would write myself out of here
If I was all the colors I would paint you pretty in gold in a picture, so I'm told little sister
So now I'm sold little sister
Why don't you tell me about the sunsets in Sweden and the laws of Eden
And how you were the rock of Gibraltar, and how they called you foxy
Well that's another whole box of pandora's, that's another whole box of them ties
Slide your foot off the gas before we crash right back into the median
Right back into the median, the median lo-oh
It separates, our house from the middle of the street...
It separates our house from the middle of the street
Talking about our house
Is on the front porch telling jokes and they swing swiftly towards happier times
Expending lines and finding more energy for the effort and getting distance from that front porch
Spotlight
But us we found peace in shadows long enough to see a monster die.
We all need to find a little space in our daydreams long enough and just so long.
Long enough, just as long, just so long as its long enough is it long enough?
Is it long enough for me? Long enough for me to chew on.
If it isn't... if it isn't .. if it ain't if it don't if it can't then it wont.
And that's just the way that it goes.
If All is Grounded You Should Go Make a Mountain Out of It
I saw a psychic on Saturday. She was good. I was skeptical but she said too much, knew too much. She wasn't right about a couple things, but what she knew was just eerie. She told me that my heart was empty. Which although true made me sad and how pointedly she said it. And then she started discussing a man from my past and how I started talking to him again. I thought she was talking about Dan and I told her that even though we go through the whole talking, not talking thing, I hadn't spoke to him in over a month. She gave me this skeptical look and said, "Are you sure you haven't been texting him?" and I said no, but she didn't believe me. So she told me if he called me in the next two days to not answer, not see him. At least for the next two days. She said he was going to contact me and try and come back again in my life. So I said okay, not really thinking it was true.
She also said there's been a separation from a female friend. To which I told her that there hasn't been any falling out. She said, "that doesn't mean you're not growing apart or that your relationship is not what it used to be". Which makes me sad because I feel like that's true. I don't want to grow apart. She also asked me why I didn't move or apply for a job that I wanted. I knew exactly what she meant. There was this job in LA working as an assistant for a designer or something, I forget all the details now. But I thought about applying. I looked at a lot of jobs in LA for awhile before I got this job at Delta. I dreamed of moving down there and starting over and taking a big chance. But I didn't do it, I was too scared. She said I'm stuck. That I go do my job but it's not what I want to do long term and I need to take a chance. Blah, I hypervenilate a bit when I think about it. I wish I was braver. She knew a few other things too, it was an incredible experience really. To have a stranger tell you what you've tried to ignore.
Oh, the best part is this, when I was driving home Andy texted me. He and I haven't seen each other in over 2 years. We always try and make plans, but never see each other. We go through phases where we IM and text and then nothing for awhile and repeat this pattern. We've been talking the past month again. Anyway, he texted me and wanted to know if I wanted to have coffee the next day. I said yes and couldn't believe we were finally going to see each other after so long. We chatted a bit more and it's when he said, "I'm stepping up to the plate here and trying to make an effort to make this work" that I realized, she wasn't talking about Dan she was talking about Andy. I couldn't believe it. I told him that I couldn't see him, I just realized she was talking about him and not Dan. He understood but told me that he has been planning on meditating and cutting off social contact until after his birthday November 10th and that Sunday was his last day he could see me. Which means that the 2 days the psychic asked me not to see him would extend another 6 weeks or so.
Have you just ever felt fate fall into place? How the chain of events of me seeing the psychic and her telling me not to see him could change who knows what. I just know that I did the right thing not seeing him. I wonder what would have happened though if I had. What is my alternate course of events I'm preventing?
She also said there's been a separation from a female friend. To which I told her that there hasn't been any falling out. She said, "that doesn't mean you're not growing apart or that your relationship is not what it used to be". Which makes me sad because I feel like that's true. I don't want to grow apart. She also asked me why I didn't move or apply for a job that I wanted. I knew exactly what she meant. There was this job in LA working as an assistant for a designer or something, I forget all the details now. But I thought about applying. I looked at a lot of jobs in LA for awhile before I got this job at Delta. I dreamed of moving down there and starting over and taking a big chance. But I didn't do it, I was too scared. She said I'm stuck. That I go do my job but it's not what I want to do long term and I need to take a chance. Blah, I hypervenilate a bit when I think about it. I wish I was braver. She knew a few other things too, it was an incredible experience really. To have a stranger tell you what you've tried to ignore.
Oh, the best part is this, when I was driving home Andy texted me. He and I haven't seen each other in over 2 years. We always try and make plans, but never see each other. We go through phases where we IM and text and then nothing for awhile and repeat this pattern. We've been talking the past month again. Anyway, he texted me and wanted to know if I wanted to have coffee the next day. I said yes and couldn't believe we were finally going to see each other after so long. We chatted a bit more and it's when he said, "I'm stepping up to the plate here and trying to make an effort to make this work" that I realized, she wasn't talking about Dan she was talking about Andy. I couldn't believe it. I told him that I couldn't see him, I just realized she was talking about him and not Dan. He understood but told me that he has been planning on meditating and cutting off social contact until after his birthday November 10th and that Sunday was his last day he could see me. Which means that the 2 days the psychic asked me not to see him would extend another 6 weeks or so.
Have you just ever felt fate fall into place? How the chain of events of me seeing the psychic and her telling me not to see him could change who knows what. I just know that I did the right thing not seeing him. I wonder what would have happened though if I had. What is my alternate course of events I'm preventing?
Monday, September 22, 2008
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!
So I googled my name (don't ask) and found this link. People can buy shirts that say 'Micaela is NOT my friend'. So apparently someone with the same name as me (I'm assuming it's not about me!) has pissed someone off so much that they decided to have shirts available for those who hate her. That's kind of intense.
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/item/micaela-is-not-my-friend-womens-long-sleeve-dark/132313963
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/item/micaela-is-not-my-friend-womens-long-sleeve-dark/132313963
Friday, September 19, 2008
Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
1. Prepare to be boarded.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
I am High Fidelity
"People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands--literally thousands--of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss. The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don't know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they've been listening to the sad songs longer than they've been living the unhappy lives."
I started reading High Fidelity yesterday. I have less than 50 pages to go. I highly recommend this book, especially to those who use music as a way of gauging your life and a way to express your current state of mind. I watched the movie years ago (I do love John Cusack) and I thought maybe I should read the book. I was surprised to know it's set in England; apart from that, the movie has done it justice actually. The title character, if you haven't seen the movie or read the book, makes compilation tapes whenever some event happens in his life. His girlfriend leaving him, meeting a new woman, whatever. And I realize I do this myself. I have a section of mix CDs that I used to make whenever I had some event happen to me. I have ones that I have made friends, ones that I have made for guys I liked, ones that I made when guys I like didn't like me, or upset me, or I stopped talking to someone, whatever you get the point.
Sometimes I like to pick up say the one I made when I was going to drive for the first time alone from Sacramento to Stockton. It was raining and I was terrified to drive that far by myself in such weather. Now it seems silly, it's a short distance and I made it fine. But I didn't know my way around and it feels like forever ago and not just 5 years. But it's filled with acoustic songs that I still love though haven't listened to in probably 4 1/2 years. I still make mix CDs, and play them over and over again until I make the next.
What really got me with the above paragraph is how close it hits home. I've been often told that I listen to the most depressing music. My mom often asks me why I like to make myself sad. But I don't see it this way. I am attracted to the passion and emotion that these songs possess, so what if they're sad? But has a lifetime of pop music attributed to the way I view relationships? During the past year, whenever I listen to my friends talk about boy or girl troubles, or whatever, I have to preface my advice or my perspective with a warning. I have come to realize that I'm rather jaded. Have events in my past attributed to this? Well of course they have! I've been lied to, cheated on, hurt, rejected, felt unloved, felt invisible...seeing relationships through my mothers eyes has left me convinced that unhealthy relationships are the norm.
But pop music has been my friend. My hope that there are people that love unconditionally and openly and freely. That would love me despite my craziness and jealousy and stubbornness, that would love me because of it on some level. And I embrace the sad songs because it's nice to know that other people hurt too. I cry along to Jeff Buckley's 'Hallelujah', Ani DiFranco's 'Done Wrong', The Wrecker's 'Cigarettes', Rachael Yamagata's 'Sunday Afternoon' or Kelly Clarkson's 'Sober'. I find it to be cathartic, not depressing. But has it added to me becoming so jaded?
I meet someone and they've sparked an interest in me and I suddenly become two different people. One is hopeful and excited and the other is negative and expects to be rejected. Don't want to get my hopes up because if it doesn't work out, how disappointing will that be? And in High Fidelity, the lead character basically tells his ex the same thing. He tells her he cheated on her because when he would lay in bed with her and feel absolute happiness he would panic and wonder how he would deal with losing her. He sabotaged his perfectly healthy relationship because he knew that they'd either break up or one of them would die. So what's the point in being happy when it will have to end? And in some sick way, I get that. I feel that way myself.
My mom called me and said her ex husband called and wanted to have lunch and she didn't know what she would do. I asked her if it was worth losing him again for a brief time of happiness with him, and she couldn't answer. Isn't that what it's all about? The question of, is it worth it to stick it out in relationships that are broken or dying if there's a chance that things could get back right again? Or should you just move on and look for something that works. Something that clicks. Do you hope the boy you just met and get butterflies when you think about, that he'll be worth it all one day. Will he be better than something dysfunctional now, could he be functional? Or is he simply a friend, or a transitional period in your life until you find the next boy that gives you butterflies?
Maybe I should learn to be more optimistic when it comes to matters of the heart. Who knows, maybe I give him butterflies too.
I started reading High Fidelity yesterday. I have less than 50 pages to go. I highly recommend this book, especially to those who use music as a way of gauging your life and a way to express your current state of mind. I watched the movie years ago (I do love John Cusack) and I thought maybe I should read the book. I was surprised to know it's set in England; apart from that, the movie has done it justice actually. The title character, if you haven't seen the movie or read the book, makes compilation tapes whenever some event happens in his life. His girlfriend leaving him, meeting a new woman, whatever. And I realize I do this myself. I have a section of mix CDs that I used to make whenever I had some event happen to me. I have ones that I have made friends, ones that I have made for guys I liked, ones that I made when guys I like didn't like me, or upset me, or I stopped talking to someone, whatever you get the point.
Sometimes I like to pick up say the one I made when I was going to drive for the first time alone from Sacramento to Stockton. It was raining and I was terrified to drive that far by myself in such weather. Now it seems silly, it's a short distance and I made it fine. But I didn't know my way around and it feels like forever ago and not just 5 years. But it's filled with acoustic songs that I still love though haven't listened to in probably 4 1/2 years. I still make mix CDs, and play them over and over again until I make the next.
What really got me with the above paragraph is how close it hits home. I've been often told that I listen to the most depressing music. My mom often asks me why I like to make myself sad. But I don't see it this way. I am attracted to the passion and emotion that these songs possess, so what if they're sad? But has a lifetime of pop music attributed to the way I view relationships? During the past year, whenever I listen to my friends talk about boy or girl troubles, or whatever, I have to preface my advice or my perspective with a warning. I have come to realize that I'm rather jaded. Have events in my past attributed to this? Well of course they have! I've been lied to, cheated on, hurt, rejected, felt unloved, felt invisible...seeing relationships through my mothers eyes has left me convinced that unhealthy relationships are the norm.
But pop music has been my friend. My hope that there are people that love unconditionally and openly and freely. That would love me despite my craziness and jealousy and stubbornness, that would love me because of it on some level. And I embrace the sad songs because it's nice to know that other people hurt too. I cry along to Jeff Buckley's 'Hallelujah', Ani DiFranco's 'Done Wrong', The Wrecker's 'Cigarettes', Rachael Yamagata's 'Sunday Afternoon' or Kelly Clarkson's 'Sober'. I find it to be cathartic, not depressing. But has it added to me becoming so jaded?
I meet someone and they've sparked an interest in me and I suddenly become two different people. One is hopeful and excited and the other is negative and expects to be rejected. Don't want to get my hopes up because if it doesn't work out, how disappointing will that be? And in High Fidelity, the lead character basically tells his ex the same thing. He tells her he cheated on her because when he would lay in bed with her and feel absolute happiness he would panic and wonder how he would deal with losing her. He sabotaged his perfectly healthy relationship because he knew that they'd either break up or one of them would die. So what's the point in being happy when it will have to end? And in some sick way, I get that. I feel that way myself.
My mom called me and said her ex husband called and wanted to have lunch and she didn't know what she would do. I asked her if it was worth losing him again for a brief time of happiness with him, and she couldn't answer. Isn't that what it's all about? The question of, is it worth it to stick it out in relationships that are broken or dying if there's a chance that things could get back right again? Or should you just move on and look for something that works. Something that clicks. Do you hope the boy you just met and get butterflies when you think about, that he'll be worth it all one day. Will he be better than something dysfunctional now, could he be functional? Or is he simply a friend, or a transitional period in your life until you find the next boy that gives you butterflies?
Maybe I should learn to be more optimistic when it comes to matters of the heart. Who knows, maybe I give him butterflies too.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
She Would Even Miss You if You Taught Her Sight
I like being social. Making new friends, getting to get to know someone from the start and whatnot. With changing jobs and going to the improv shows on Friday I feel like this bombardment of new people. Learning new names, new tidbits of information to keep in my head and remember the next time we see each other. It's been fun. I feel like I hadn't met a lot of new people in the past two years. I stayed at the same job with mostly the same people. I still have my core group of friends from high school. Not a lot of branching, that's all I'm saying.
Now that I work for a college, I've decided to take advantage of free classes and I've signed up for two. I chose both online courses as the thought of working from 9-6 and then staying an extra 3+ hours seems like the worse idea. Who knows though, I may change my mind next semester.
I'm taking a class on books that were adapted for movies. I'm excited as a lot of my favorite books have been made into movies. Which I will admit kind of irks me. I hate telling people that one of my favorite books is for instance, "House of Sand and Fog" and have them say, "Oh, like the movie?". No not like the movie, like the book, that was later turned into a movie. Although sometimes I will read the book after seeing a movie if I liked it enough. I digress. I have to reread Atonement, which was one of the saddest books I've ever read, so that should be fun. And Joy Luck Club! I have loved this movie since I was little and I've actually owned the book for awhile but never read it because I know how emotional it's going to be. But I guess I'll be delving in soon. The other class is a screen writing class. That'll be challenging. I've always been secretly interested in writing my own screenplay, but I'm completely intimidated by it.
I hope I haven't taken on too much. Working full time then two classes that apparently require at least 18+ hours a week. When do I get to sleep?
Now that I work for a college, I've decided to take advantage of free classes and I've signed up for two. I chose both online courses as the thought of working from 9-6 and then staying an extra 3+ hours seems like the worse idea. Who knows though, I may change my mind next semester.
I'm taking a class on books that were adapted for movies. I'm excited as a lot of my favorite books have been made into movies. Which I will admit kind of irks me. I hate telling people that one of my favorite books is for instance, "House of Sand and Fog" and have them say, "Oh, like the movie?". No not like the movie, like the book, that was later turned into a movie. Although sometimes I will read the book after seeing a movie if I liked it enough. I digress. I have to reread Atonement, which was one of the saddest books I've ever read, so that should be fun. And Joy Luck Club! I have loved this movie since I was little and I've actually owned the book for awhile but never read it because I know how emotional it's going to be. But I guess I'll be delving in soon. The other class is a screen writing class. That'll be challenging. I've always been secretly interested in writing my own screenplay, but I'm completely intimidated by it.
I hope I haven't taken on too much. Working full time then two classes that apparently require at least 18+ hours a week. When do I get to sleep?
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Oh I Wish I Could Live That Now
"My days are filled with mistakes
Some that I didn't make
I carry them around
Some people don't feel a thing
Some kind of blissful dream
Wish I could live that now
10,000 stones are hanging
deep in my heart
no I don't know how they
don't tear me apart
I've seen a lot in my life
When everything was crashing
I know that you got your plans
But I was only asking
I was never asking for"
How can not being honest with you be so much easier than being honest? Just a small taste of what I've been feeling, now all I feel is guilty.
Some that I didn't make
I carry them around
Some people don't feel a thing
Some kind of blissful dream
Wish I could live that now
10,000 stones are hanging
deep in my heart
no I don't know how they
don't tear me apart
I've seen a lot in my life
When everything was crashing
I know that you got your plans
But I was only asking
I was never asking for"
How can not being honest with you be so much easier than being honest? Just a small taste of what I've been feeling, now all I feel is guilty.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
~Pablo Neruda
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
~Pablo Neruda
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Say Something Funny, Say Something Sweet...
Have you ever had a problem controlling the words coming out of your mouth? I find that too often I say something and immediately regret it. Not that I didn't mean it, but I know that I probably shouldn't have said it. Too honest, at least my own view of honesty. And then there are those times that my insides are screaming what I SHOULD say, what would be warranted to say. But I sit there, silent. I think I regret more the things I don't say more than the stuff I shouldn't have said.
I'm thankful for a lot of things, some materialistic, some unneccessary, some ridiculous and some irreplaceable. Some are new things in my life, new people more specifically. I'm thankful for the time I get to spend in your presence, it's doing wonders for me if you didn't know.
I'm thankful for a lot of things, some materialistic, some unneccessary, some ridiculous and some irreplaceable. Some are new things in my life, new people more specifically. I'm thankful for the time I get to spend in your presence, it's doing wonders for me if you didn't know.
Details in the Fabric
Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up
If it's a broken part, replace it
But, if it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine
mmmhmm
Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything, everything will be fine
Everything
Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?
Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.
Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything
Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing
Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up
If it's a broken part, replace it
But, if it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine
mmmhmm
Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything, everything will be fine
Everything
Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?
Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.
Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything
Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing
Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
Haven't posted for almost 6 months. It's not that I've had nothing to say. I've started quite a few blog entries, only to close them out before posting them. I feel like my thoughts are jumbled, an incoherent mess. I can definitely say there are new things going on now since 6 months ago.
I left my last job, which was the best decision for me. I miss some of the people but I really do love my job now. Sure there are days when it's slow and I wish I had more to do, but they keep saying, "wait until summer's over, you'll be so busy. enjoy your time now" which both scares and excites me. I definitely look forward to that crazy busy stress high that I haven't had for a while.
The family could be better. I feel like everyone's struggling right now and I can't fix it and that's hard to accept. I worry about my mom and if she's okay, and I hate that she's sad. Sometimes I don't know how to deal with her sadness when I have my own.
I've been going to improv shows every week for the last month. It's been good to just have a couple hours of laughter in my life where I'm not worrying, overthinking, stressing, etc. It also makes me miss performing a hell of a lot.
I feel like there's more I want to say but I'm not ready. I started a blogspot journal but haven't posted anything yet, it's elaeuphoria.blogspot.com. It's the same user name as my live journal account as well. So that's it, hopefully I'll get better at posting more than bi-annually!
I left my last job, which was the best decision for me. I miss some of the people but I really do love my job now. Sure there are days when it's slow and I wish I had more to do, but they keep saying, "wait until summer's over, you'll be so busy. enjoy your time now" which both scares and excites me. I definitely look forward to that crazy busy stress high that I haven't had for a while.
The family could be better. I feel like everyone's struggling right now and I can't fix it and that's hard to accept. I worry about my mom and if she's okay, and I hate that she's sad. Sometimes I don't know how to deal with her sadness when I have my own.
I've been going to improv shows every week for the last month. It's been good to just have a couple hours of laughter in my life where I'm not worrying, overthinking, stressing, etc. It also makes me miss performing a hell of a lot.
I feel like there's more I want to say but I'm not ready. I started a blogspot journal but haven't posted anything yet, it's elaeuphoria.blogspot.com. It's the same user name as my live journal account as well. So that's it, hopefully I'll get better at posting more than bi-annually!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Dark...You Can't Come Soon Enough For Me
"I dreamed of you. I dreamed you were wandering in the dark, and so was I. We found each other. We found each other in the dark."
I've been feeling sad lately. Really sad. Which is weird because most people feel happier when Spring starts and sad when Winter starts but I seem to feel the opposite. Spring break is coming and I should be excited to see my friends, but seeing them for a short time just reminds me about how much I miss them when they are gone. I feel so isolated and lonely, you'd think I was the one away from home.
Sometimes I have this deep sense that I have absolutely no control over anything in my life. Of course when I'm not in these moods I know that this sounds utterly ridiculous, but being in those periods makes me crazy. It's when I do stupid things and all my self-harming behaviors come up. Is this a pattern I'm going to have the rest of my life?
You'd think that with the self-awareness about my issues I'd be able to overcome them. It's exhausting overthinking so much. I need to take a leap of faith and take a chance on a new experience. I'm frustrated that I'm turning 23 next month and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. For now I'm just wandering in the dark.
I've been feeling sad lately. Really sad. Which is weird because most people feel happier when Spring starts and sad when Winter starts but I seem to feel the opposite. Spring break is coming and I should be excited to see my friends, but seeing them for a short time just reminds me about how much I miss them when they are gone. I feel so isolated and lonely, you'd think I was the one away from home.
Sometimes I have this deep sense that I have absolutely no control over anything in my life. Of course when I'm not in these moods I know that this sounds utterly ridiculous, but being in those periods makes me crazy. It's when I do stupid things and all my self-harming behaviors come up. Is this a pattern I'm going to have the rest of my life?
You'd think that with the self-awareness about my issues I'd be able to overcome them. It's exhausting overthinking so much. I need to take a leap of faith and take a chance on a new experience. I'm frustrated that I'm turning 23 next month and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. For now I'm just wandering in the dark.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I Was Over the Ground That You’ve Been Spinning
So I flew from San Francisco Thursday morning to DC. I was a wreck on my first flight...constantly paranoid that it would be crashing on some island that was full of mysteries and men named Jack and Sawyer. A silver lining to crashing I suppose. :) It was actually quite beautiful as I was taking off the sun was just starting to rise over the Pacific Ocean. My seat was next to the wings and I kept staring at them figuring I'd be channeling William Shatner at some point. The first flight was long and crowded and I realized that I'm as claustraphobic as I've feared.
My connection was in Chicago. I couldn't find my terminal and I didn't want to ask anyone because the security check person and the flight attendant from my first flight were rather rude, but the lady that I asked was nice and helpful and gave me a free tin of life saver smarties which was nice. It was about 1:20 (or 11:20 PST) and my plane was starting to board. I get to my seat, happy that I have the row to myself and was anxious to get going. Then the captain comes on and says there's a "maintenance issue" and it would be 20-30 minutes before we take off. So I call my mom and in the middle of our conversation the captain comes on again to tell us that "what started out as a small problem is now a big problem and everyone has to get off the plane so they can recaliberize the plane because it was leaking". so fuck me that sounded bad and not helping making me feel more secure about this whole flying business. But I hadn't eaten in the 10 hours that I had been up so it was nice to get something to eat and just relax for 45 minutes. We finally got back on the plane and the second flight wasn't too bad. I will say that I HATE landing. The descent is fine but the minute the plane hits the ground it feels like crashing. But the coolest part is that the sun was setting on DC as we landed so I really felt like a perfect ending to my flying experience.
So I land and find Megan (including a running to eachother dramatic filled reunion) and we hop in a cab for her apartment. Meet all her roomies and a couple boyfriends and get settled in. We then get dressed up for dinner. We got reservations at this authentic Greek place. It was nice, the food was delicious and we headed back.
Yesterday we started our day by taking the metro and walking along and seeing a few places. I saw the Washington Monument from a far, the Smithsonian Castle, the Air and Space Museum and the Capitol. We then went back and got ready to go out again (after watching a few eps of The Office). Meg wanted to check out this Rouge Lounge...we checked the website and it seemed pretty cool. So it's like a 2 minute walk away and when we get there they tell us they are renovating the lounge and lead us to this makeshift 'lounge'...and I use the word lounge loosely...very loosely. It was a room no bigger than a living room with about 4 tables and a low buffet style table with a bar setup. The music was low and everything felt like an awkward and creepy house party where they charge you $14 for alcohol.
So we ran out of there and went to Nag which is next door to Megs place. The food was pretty good though I wasn't really that hungry, but the drinks were great. I had some pear champagne rum thing that was great and the strongest mojito in the world. So I'm kind of a lightweight drinker and was a little tipsy at that point. But when we got back to the room, her roomates were playing a drinking game and we joined them. I ended up having lots more vodka and then we decided to go to this bar/club place around 1. It was pretty cool and it was fun dancing drunk with a bunch of people. Around 2:30 we left the bar and went to get food. Empanadas are AMAZING at 3:00 in the morning lol. Then it was watching The Office until 4 and finally heading to bed.
So that's it so far pretty much. Loving it and the weather is great. I already know I'm going to be sad to leave so I'm not thinking of that now. More to come!!
My connection was in Chicago. I couldn't find my terminal and I didn't want to ask anyone because the security check person and the flight attendant from my first flight were rather rude, but the lady that I asked was nice and helpful and gave me a free tin of life saver smarties which was nice. It was about 1:20 (or 11:20 PST) and my plane was starting to board. I get to my seat, happy that I have the row to myself and was anxious to get going. Then the captain comes on and says there's a "maintenance issue" and it would be 20-30 minutes before we take off. So I call my mom and in the middle of our conversation the captain comes on again to tell us that "what started out as a small problem is now a big problem and everyone has to get off the plane so they can recaliberize the plane because it was leaking". so fuck me that sounded bad and not helping making me feel more secure about this whole flying business. But I hadn't eaten in the 10 hours that I had been up so it was nice to get something to eat and just relax for 45 minutes. We finally got back on the plane and the second flight wasn't too bad. I will say that I HATE landing. The descent is fine but the minute the plane hits the ground it feels like crashing. But the coolest part is that the sun was setting on DC as we landed so I really felt like a perfect ending to my flying experience.
So I land and find Megan (including a running to eachother dramatic filled reunion) and we hop in a cab for her apartment. Meet all her roomies and a couple boyfriends and get settled in. We then get dressed up for dinner. We got reservations at this authentic Greek place. It was nice, the food was delicious and we headed back.
Yesterday we started our day by taking the metro and walking along and seeing a few places. I saw the Washington Monument from a far, the Smithsonian Castle, the Air and Space Museum and the Capitol. We then went back and got ready to go out again (after watching a few eps of The Office). Meg wanted to check out this Rouge Lounge...we checked the website and it seemed pretty cool. So it's like a 2 minute walk away and when we get there they tell us they are renovating the lounge and lead us to this makeshift 'lounge'...and I use the word lounge loosely...very loosely. It was a room no bigger than a living room with about 4 tables and a low buffet style table with a bar setup. The music was low and everything felt like an awkward and creepy house party where they charge you $14 for alcohol.
So we ran out of there and went to Nag which is next door to Megs place. The food was pretty good though I wasn't really that hungry, but the drinks were great. I had some pear champagne rum thing that was great and the strongest mojito in the world. So I'm kind of a lightweight drinker and was a little tipsy at that point. But when we got back to the room, her roomates were playing a drinking game and we joined them. I ended up having lots more vodka and then we decided to go to this bar/club place around 1. It was pretty cool and it was fun dancing drunk with a bunch of people. Around 2:30 we left the bar and went to get food. Empanadas are AMAZING at 3:00 in the morning lol. Then it was watching The Office until 4 and finally heading to bed.
So that's it so far pretty much. Loving it and the weather is great. I already know I'm going to be sad to leave so I'm not thinking of that now. More to come!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
It's like finding out your favorite love song was written about a sandwhich...
I feel so jaded lately. When I hear people tell me about relationship problems I have to stop myself from just blurting out, "It probably won't work out, don't waste your time!" Romance is dead! That's just how I feel right now. People either stay together because of convienence or fear of being alone.
Anyway, my life feels so out of place right now. Like I haven't found my groove. It's painfully obvious I'm not feeling very fulfilled in my life currently, but I can't figure out what I want. I have this huge fear of starting a life path and realizing at some point that I've made this huge mistake and regret it. So instead I make no live changing decision. I was taking Interior Design classes but when I got a third of the way through it I realized that I didn't feel as interested as I once had with the concept. I'm not sure if it's something I can see myself doing in the long term.
I'd love to either write or become an Event Planner. I enjoy writing but I feel like I'd have to have a Masters to ever get a good job within the field. But since I have to work full time it would probably take me 7 years or more, at that rate I might as well become the next Meredith Grey, with less angst and more McDreamy.
My current job is so back and forth. One day I feel happy to be here and of the possibility of growing into a really great position here. The next day the fire a friend of mine and lie about it and make me want to resort to physical violence against my co-workers. I feel so stressed out lately I feel like I may vomit. Lovely, right?
So I fill my weekends thinking of my friends far far away and watch WAY to many OCs to kind of numb myself. It's a great distraction but it makes me feel like I have this empty cup and I don't know what I want to put in it. Coffee, soda, water, pink lemonade...what wil it be today?
Anyway, my life feels so out of place right now. Like I haven't found my groove. It's painfully obvious I'm not feeling very fulfilled in my life currently, but I can't figure out what I want. I have this huge fear of starting a life path and realizing at some point that I've made this huge mistake and regret it. So instead I make no live changing decision. I was taking Interior Design classes but when I got a third of the way through it I realized that I didn't feel as interested as I once had with the concept. I'm not sure if it's something I can see myself doing in the long term.
I'd love to either write or become an Event Planner. I enjoy writing but I feel like I'd have to have a Masters to ever get a good job within the field. But since I have to work full time it would probably take me 7 years or more, at that rate I might as well become the next Meredith Grey, with less angst and more McDreamy.
My current job is so back and forth. One day I feel happy to be here and of the possibility of growing into a really great position here. The next day the fire a friend of mine and lie about it and make me want to resort to physical violence against my co-workers. I feel so stressed out lately I feel like I may vomit. Lovely, right?
So I fill my weekends thinking of my friends far far away and watch WAY to many OCs to kind of numb myself. It's a great distraction but it makes me feel like I have this empty cup and I don't know what I want to put in it. Coffee, soda, water, pink lemonade...what wil it be today?
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