Dark...You Can't Come Soon Enough For Me

"I dreamed of you. I dreamed you were wandering in the dark, and so was I. We found each other. We found each other in the dark."

I've been feeling sad lately. Really sad. Which is weird because most people feel happier when Spring starts and sad when Winter starts but I seem to feel the opposite. Spring break is coming and I should be excited to see my friends, but seeing them for a short time just reminds me about how much I miss them when they are gone. I feel so isolated and lonely, you'd think I was the one away from home.

Sometimes I have this deep sense that I have absolutely no control over anything in my life. Of course when I'm not in these moods I know that this sounds utterly ridiculous, but being in those periods makes me crazy. It's when I do stupid things and all my self-harming behaviors come up. Is this a pattern I'm going to have the rest of my life?

You'd think that with the self-awareness about my issues I'd be able to overcome them. It's exhausting overthinking so much. I need to take a leap of faith and take a chance on a new experience. I'm frustrated that I'm turning 23 next month and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. For now I'm just wandering in the dark.