It's like finding out your favorite love song was written about a sandwhich...

I feel so jaded lately. When I hear people tell me about relationship problems I have to stop myself from just blurting out, "It probably won't work out, don't waste your time!" Romance is dead! That's just how I feel right now. People either stay together because of convienence or fear of being alone.

Anyway, my life feels so out of place right now. Like I haven't found my groove. It's painfully obvious I'm not feeling very fulfilled in my life currently, but I can't figure out what I want. I have this huge fear of starting a life path and realizing at some point that I've made this huge mistake and regret it. So instead I make no live changing decision. I was taking Interior Design classes but when I got a third of the way through it I realized that I didn't feel as interested as I once had with the concept. I'm not sure if it's something I can see myself doing in the long term.

I'd love to either write or become an Event Planner. I enjoy writing but I feel like I'd have to have a Masters to ever get a good job within the field. But since I have to work full time it would probably take me 7 years or more, at that rate I might as well become the next Meredith Grey, with less angst and more McDreamy.

My current job is so back and forth. One day I feel happy to be here and of the possibility of growing into a really great position here. The next day the fire a friend of mine and lie about it and make me want to resort to physical violence against my co-workers. I feel so stressed out lately I feel like I may vomit. Lovely, right?

So I fill my weekends thinking of my friends far far away and watch WAY to many OCs to kind of numb myself. It's a great distraction but it makes me feel like I have this empty cup and I don't know what I want to put in it. Coffee, soda, water, pink lemonade...what wil it be today?