Reject a woman and she will never let it go...

...One of the many defects of their kind – also, weak arms." Dwight K. Schrute

Yea, I'm feeling that today. Blah...people are so disappointing. I fear that I idealize situations and fantasize such an outcome that it's unrealistic and I'm therefore usually disappointed. I guess I just expect people will react in certain ways, and it's usually never the case. Does that make me stupid or just hopeful? Sometimes I feel like there's not a difference.



Music is amazing, you know? I heard a song that I haven't heard in probably 5, maybe 6 years. I started sobbing...not crying, but sobbing. It brought back all these memories and thoughts that I suppose I've been supressing. Here I've been thinking I've overcome situations and learned and grown. Nope! I've only pushed them away and blocked them from my mind. How does that happen? How does one just completely shut a door on some painful strip of memories to only have the door pop open when you lease expect it? It was so random how I found the song and the minute it started playing, I felt hit with this wave of emotion. Does that sort of level of emotion make someone weak?

I feel out of control. I need to figure stuff out. Make plans or get a fresh start. I don't like where this is all heading. I need to learn to not repeat patterns of self-destruction. If I know someone or something is bad for me and does not make me happy, why would I chose to continue seeking their company or continue the bad habits?

The hardest things to change are the choices we continue to make over and over again. Sometimes I get tired of saying no to the things that I shouldn't want but always do. I have too many bad vices and I need to start being good to myself.

Easier said then done, right? So, my friends...help me. If you see me doing something you know I'll regret, stop me.